Many boys often appear deliberate when pursuing their crush because they are too anxious, which can actually make the other person feel pressured. In fact, the key to pursuit lies not in fierce attacks, but in establishing a natural way of getting along. Here are a few practical methods to help you avoid the embarrassing situation of being chased.
1、 Why is pursuing too deliberately counterproductive?
When a person feels deliberately pursued, their instinct is to develop a defensive mentality. Just like when we encounter a sales call at work, the more enthusiastic the other party is, the more we want to hang up. Pursuing is the same, excessive display of a sense of need can make the other person feel uncomfortable. Healthy relationships should be built on the basis of equal and natural interactions.
2、 3 ways to pursue a more natural lifestyle
1. Start with friends first, don’t rush to confess your feelings
Don’t express your feelings immediately, as it will put a lot of pressure on the other party. You can first get along as ordinary friends, chat about common interests and hobbies, and share interesting things in life. For example, if you both enjoy watching movies, you can naturally discuss the recently released new films instead of deliberately inviting her to watch movies alone.
2. Maintain moderate contact frequency
Don’t send greeting cards every morning and night, and don’t send more than ten messages a day. You can enjoy some interesting things every two or three days, such as seeing a good restaurant or encountering something fun. This kind of connection will neither appear too cold nor make the other person feel entangled.
3. Show your true self
Don’t disguise yourself as someone else just to please the other person. You can talk about your work, hobbies, and even some harmless minor flaws. True personality charm is more attractive than perfect persona. For example, you can say that although you are not very good at cooking, you have been learning to make a certain dish recently.
3、 Several misconceptions to be aware of
Don’t overinterpret the other person’s reaction: her failure to reply to the message in a timely manner doesn’t necessarily mean she’s not interested in you, it may just be that she was busy at the time.
Don’t make sudden attacks, such as giving expensive gifts or confessing in public, which can catch the other person off guard.
Don’t give up on your life: In the pursuit process, you should also maintain your social circle and hobbies, so that you can be an interesting person.
Pursuing the best state of a person is to make getting along naturally. When you no longer consider ‘chasing her’ as the only goal, it becomes easier to establish a sincere connection. Remember, good relationships are two-way and require giving each other enough space and time to get to know each other.